college...life...ahhh!!!

my oh my how i dislike college right now. i was so excited about this year just last week. i felt like i could take on anything, like time was not going to be an issue and i would be fine in everything. for some odd reason i thought my classes would be manageable, working more hours would be ok and i'd be able to handle taking on a third job. HA! what a joke that was. i made it though the first week of school alright...then made it to the first weekend and all hell broke loose. i suddenly realized that i had no time for anything, had no money for anything, felt completely drained of all ambition to do anything and fell into a spiritual low that made pretty much everything about 100x more difficult to deal with on a normal level. so this past weekend was really quite miserable. i was so overwhelmed and stressed. friday night i felt weird...really severely alone, as well as saturday night, even though i was surrounded by friends both nights. so i finally figured out saturday night that i was in the midst of a spiritual battle of sorts, which basically made me feel like my life was crumbling around me and i was powerless to stop it. but sunday morning at church i was seeing and hearing things in a different light and i felt good...which lasted a few hours and then i was overcome by stress again, which continued into monday and my first bio lab of the semester. first off...a bio lab at 8:30 am is not the easiest thing to deal with, but that on top of the fact that i suddenly realized how incredibly hard that class is really going to be and the knowledge that i may be taking it for no reason whatsoever, was enough to make me want to give up entirely. so i basically dragged myself through monday, within a millimeter of giving up on college completely. emily across the hall asked me how i was, and before i could even respond, she said 'here...eat this ice cream, you look incredibly stressed. go to class and when you get back, find me cause you look like you really need to talk.' so i guess i not only felt horrid...i also looked it. i will say that i was feeling much better last night though. and i'm quite happy to say that i'm not the only one with such problems, today was lisa's turn to freak out and want to give up...and it has been decided by myself, ashley, jonnie, lisa and a few others...that we're just going to quit school completely. it's not worth this. we're in the second week of school and we've had enough. we're overwhelmed beyond all imagination and we're all having to drag ourselves through each day...that's just not right. this has all made me very thankful for the friends i have, who live near and far, cause they've been a great help through this, supporting me emotionally and helping me get back on track spiritually. so thanks guys! these have been quite eventful days...which i hope not not experience again, but for now...i'm doing ok...