February 12. 1926 - January 30, 2006: that is the length of time my grandmother, Lorraine Alice Blank, walked this earth, guiding and serving her family and friends in her sweet and gentle way and going way above and beyond the call of duty on a regular basis. it's unfortunate that people rarely realize the true impact of a life until that life is taken away. my grandmother was one of those people who had an incredibly strong impact on her family and small community. her funeral was evidence of her love for people and their love for her. 3 1/2 hours of visiting friday night, 5 hours of visiting, a funeral and a luncheon on saturday, 117 cards and memorials, countless handshakes and hugs from family, friends and people whose only connection to me was that they knew my grandmother and a church with seating not adequate for the number of people wanting to pay tribute to my grandma's life.

the funeral was beautiful. the pastor was a dear friend, so it had a very personal feel to it. everyone sang Jesus Loves Me because grandma had been a sunday school teacher for longer than i know and had taught so many people that song. that was the moment i fell apart. i had been doing really well, not that it matters really, but i had handled this well because i had my time with her over christmas break, but i uttered 2 words to that song and then it was nothing more than tears until both verses were through. the grandsons were pall-bearers; granddaughters read scripture (mine was pslam 46). as i said, it was a beautiful service.

that evening we were all at the farm, going through the house, reading cards, ect. i'll probably never meet another person who documented things as well as my grandma. she wrote out histories on some of the more valuable or larger pieces in the house. she designated certain cross stitches she had made to each grandchild, with an explanation of why. it seems like everything she had been given had a label saying from whom and when it was given. i don't know when she did all this... but she was on top of everything. the only thing i specifically wanted was gramma's bible. it's not old or valuable, but she and i spent a night a few weeks ago talking about favorite verses and stories. that bible held a very important memory and i wanted that to treasure... and i got it. and that memory brought tears to my eyes the night after the funeral when i was reading it. i also was given gramma's china... the china her parents gave her on her wedding day. i can hardly believe it was given to me. it's beautiful. it's so strange to think of how different things will be now. what i know and how i feel don't match up. it really doesn't seem like she's gone. i suppose time will make it real, but reality is a hard concept to master. so many things in life are changing... it's easy to get lost in it.