i have arrived...

God works in wonderful and mysterious ways. and sometimes, when his plans start coming into the light that our human eyes can recognize, i just find myself completely blown away. rightfully so i suspect. i mean, how could i ever even dream of understanding the ways of god? it's not possible to fully understand, he's god and we are not. and yet, i believe he may reveal more to us than we even know because we just can't see the whole picture. so we moan and complain about how god isn't showing us things, when really, we just can't see. i'm standing here awestruck at his power right now, captured by how he pieces things together and how can can make things happen so quickly when the time is right. and i'm blown away at how he has used me... me, who fights him, doubts and hesitates... used me in ways i didn't forsee i'd be used and given opportunities i never felt worthy of. who am i in the sight of god? i am his child. unworthy, but loved unconditionally. full of flaws, but made perfect in his sight. perfect. blameless. pure. i am loved. i am wanted. i am his. it's unbelievable. this isn't new to me, but sometimes things just hit me full force and knock me senseless, bringing to my knees... to this place where i'm awestruck. and the excitement within me keeps building. this is real. the beginning of real passion. this is what i want. this is how i always want to be. passionatly in love with my creator. i can't even express how i feel. so much has changed recently. God has been moving and i am vividly reminded of that every day now. and i'm so excited! i'm here... finally my heart and my mind are in one place... bowing before the king of the universe. and i'm content. cause i'm loved and i can feel it pulsing through my viens. this is life. this is love.